JESUS!! You wanna go where everybody knows your name!





26 February 2013

Jesus H. Christ: Does anyone know his name?

The answer to that question is “No”, according to the Bible anyway. 

His eyes were as a flame of fire, and on his head were many crowns; and he had a name written, that no man knew, but he himself. Revelation 19:12

So although we know what Jesus looks like (he has flaming red eyes and wears many crowns on this head — you’ll know him when you see him), we don’t know his name. No one does.
Except for those that do, that is.
Like his foster father, Joseph, who named him Jesus. (An angel told him what to name him in a dream.)

The angel of the LORD appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost. And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS. Matthew 1:21

And Matthew (misinterpreting Isaiah), who said he’d be named Emmanuel.

A virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel. Matthew 1:23 

Remember how the book of Revelation said that nobody knows Jesus’ name? Well, I guess the author didn’t include himself. Here are some of his favorite names for Jesus.

I am Alpha and OmegaRevelation 1:8

Behold, the Lion of the tribe of Judathe Root of David, hath prevailed to open the book, and to loose the seven seals thereof. Revelation 5:5

I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he doth judge and make war. Revelation 19:11

He was clothed with a vesture dipped in blood: and his name is called The Word of GodRevelation 9:13

He hath on his vesture and on his thigh a name written, KING OF KINGS, AND LORD OF LORDSRevelation 19:16 (What does Jesus have written on his testicles?)

I am the root and the offspring of David, and the bright and morning starRevelation 22:16 (How are Jesus and Satan alike?)

So Jesus, contrary to Revelation 19:12, has lots of names. And I have another contradiction to add to the SAB. (Here it is.)

(ht Stephen Weeks)

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