I’m kind of a dick when it comes to forgiving those who are down on their luck due to lifelong self-sabotage and bullying. I, of course, am referring to a family member that when he was young, he used to physically bully others and pontificate about how much he deserves a better shake in life, but has never put his best foot forward to care for his family. He deserted his children and stubbornly clung to self-defeating habits that eventually heralded his downfall. He is now 70 years old and has changed lanes from being a knee-jerk Republican racist to being a knee-jerk Democrat who believes that the government should have a plan to take care of a person’s every need even if he gives absolutely nothing to the system that is caring for him.
I believe that the only reason that his misguided opinions matter to me is that he tries to justify his life-long self-serving idiocy by saying that the government should have had a program to rescue him from himself. Now I believe that the first four years of college should be free, and that anyone who is willing to bust their ass should have the opportunity to work and have a job, but the 1% are priming the people to be desperate slaves that thank the non-existant god for the crappy jobs that they have to debase themselves to obtain. I believe that the minimum wage needs to be enough to get through college on but not good enough to raise a family. My family member seems to believe that ‘Personal responsibility’ should NOT regain a presence in the English language, so he believes that ingenuity and an entrepreneurial spirit are fostered by raising the minimum wage to a point that it would be enough to live the rest of your life on. How convenient, he could go back to work for as much as he made before he lost his business to the recession thru, as he puts it, “NO FAULT OF MY OWN.” Even though, as a carpenter, he had no knowledge of how to operate a fax machine or a cell phone, and did NOT advertise.
The confirmation bias that exists here is that he does not see how he torpedoed his business and how rejecting education led to his ultimate failure. I seem to care way too much about people who have little confidence in their own self worth. I guess that it is a sort of hubris in that I have done what he cannot do and despise the fact that he does not respect anything about me due to personal jealousy and hatred of someone who had the balls to accomplish what he could not. I seek no validation from him except that he now tries to pontificate about what is wrong with the world while sitting in front of the TV for 14 hrs a day and acting as though he knows everything.
My quest now is to find out why I dwell so much on this person when I care so little as to what he says and feels. I have lived beyond his small minded failures and have taken his daughter to a height that he could never have achieved. He is thankless and reviles the fact that I am willing to do whatever it takes to feed and provide for my family. He has repeatedly stated that he would not relax his morals to do what it takes to provide. I, on the other hand, would do ANYTHING, period! I detest his weakness and the dishonesty in which he lives his life, not only that, he lives with me because he cannot afford to live on his own because he accepted absolute failure when he lost his business in carpentry due to the fact that he wouldn’t listen to any suggestions on how to save it! He cannot take direction because he thinks that he knows better, so he will not work under a younger person, like if he took a job at Home Depot. He questions EVERY fact that I give him even though a simple Google search would prove me right, but pontificates as though he is engaging in a true debate, something that he has no idea how to do.
I try never to engage this person in conversation, because it always degenerates into an argument based on the fact that I won’t agree with his new-found extreme liberalism. He was a bully about his views when he was a Republican, and now he is a bully about his extreme liberal views. Go figure! Bullying has never changed for this asshole! I try to render his thoughts null, but I hate the way he wallows in his failures and refuses to admit that he needs an overhaul as a fucking person! I also hate the way he tries to act as though the daughter that he fucked over, that takes care of him now, is not keeping him from living in the fucking ghetto now! He was a drunk, gambling fuck-off until he was 45, and now he is 69 years old and the same prideful asshole that he has always been. I understand feeling like a total fuck-up, but I would rather he admit this than act like he was a legitimate person all of his fucking self-serving life.
I hope that my ire will be assuaged from this rant, but it is hard to listen to this asshole act like an enlightened person while seeking nothing in the way of redemption! He is just as prideful and self-righteous as the day that I met him, and I doubt that that will ever change. I guess that as with my worthless mother-in-law, I am also stuck with this life’s loser. Thanks for listening.