Upon setting his eyes on a football game for the first time, YHWH consulted Angel Gabriel for an explanation:
YHWH: Why are those 22 men there chasing an inflated piece of cowhide? Is it a sort of ritual? Have they created another god besides me?
Gabriel: It’s a game. They call it football. One team wins, and another loses.
YHWH: Why are they cheering when the cowhide passes some lines on the ground? Are the lines magical?
Gabriel: The lines signify territories. If the ball passes particular lines, it means that one side has struck a goal against the other, which is a victory. Hence the cheers.
YHWH: What sorcery is that? Why don’t the men just take up spears and shields and maul each other to the ground, like real champions?
Gabriel:Most men nowadays consider violence to be uncivilized and archaic. They now engage in such sports as…
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