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ANTI-CHRIST!

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Living room-Present Day…

Mary.   Bob! I spilled Christ on the fucking couch again! What do I do to get the annoying stain out?

Bob.     Relax Mary! We had this problem when those Goddamned Jehovah’s Witnesses came over last week! I can solve this!

Mary.   With what? Stain removal of this magnitude is only MYTHALOGICAL! I’ve tried scrubbing and I’ve tried buffing! 

Bob.     Not with THIS! New Anti-Christ With ScotchGuard! It’ll remove that pesky Christ in record time with just a little common sense! See? That fucking stain is almost as forgotten as John Ratzinger!

Mary.    John who?

Bob.     EXACTLY! Look my little Oompa Loompa, the stain is gone as if it was a bunch of made up voo-doo!

Mary.    Oh Bob! You’re a fucking rock star! Thank you and thanks Anti-Christ! With a performance like that I practically worship You!

Anti-Christ! With ScotchGuard. It cuts thru the bullshit and gets right to the point!