Jesus and football

Greetings on this awesome football day and may the god that I totally fucking believe in bless His Holy God day; I am wearing my magical underwear in case there are those of you who are masturbating right now, so feel free to wank it and slap a dude on the butt!

But hey Seattle fans, Wilson is totally fucking this game up and is putting jizz on the Seahawk’s face!! Jesus must hate these bastards because they are doing worse than a pedophile in general pops! All the Cheese heads have to do is run a schlong right up into the SH ass and totally fuck ’em at this point! Goddamn you Lord for letting Green Bay fuck our boys, if you were a benevolent deity you would let Aaron Rodgers slip on the field onto a stray shampoo bottle and incur an accidental anal tear, but you can’t can you? Because you are a mythological mind fuck, aren’t you? You Jesussy fucktool!

I’m praying to Zeus for the next game you impotent fuckstick, because you fucked me on the lottery numbers AND the Seahawks winning! I hope someone jams a football into your immaculate hooha sideways to teach you a lesson about who pays your fucking paycheck asshole! Many more fuck ups like this one and we will go elsewhere for our feel-good mindfuck mythology session! You are on notice little long-haired cross-carrying mister! Next loss is your omnipotent ASS on a pike fucker! Dig it! Now get your fucking ass back in the game and take one for the team! Oh, almost forgot…Amen!