Reporting LIVE from deep inside the Mormon territory of Boise, Idaho, I am your host G. Olson, with the latest on atheist happenings! I have contacted brave atheist members of this community to join me in bringing logic and reason to one of Joe Smith’s myth-filled strongholds in an effort to wake up the golden tableted minions! These people come from all walks of life and stroll directly into the gleaming bastions of deception EVERY Sunday in an effort to reach the Celestial Kingdom of Jeezus! Our job, of course, is to inform them that at the end of their deluded lives spent wandering in the desert, they will simply feed the worms until they too grow fat and die!
Yes my friends, they too will eventually see that it IS OK to masturbate on the Sabbath insted of going to church. I can personally tell you that they will accomplish more by flogging their dicks then clasping their hands in prayer AND get silky soft palms in the process! So please, be ambidexterous, because who the Hell wants unequally soft hands?
I intend to take abortion a step further and invent the E-BORTION!
What is OATH?
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April 24th 2013@ 7:30pm At OU Political Science Department-Dale Hall Room 103 Click Here to learn more…
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I think that we all can agree that Pat Robertson and all of the idiot Sky Fairy believers are a bunch of out-of-touch assholes who give the most bullshit irrelevant advice based on their Book of Lies. From now on, if you see Sky Fairy and Book of Lies I am referring to god and the kabible! I am taking the liberty to photoshop a huge ebony penis and a gay pride T-shirt on to a photo of Pat Robertson! Since he talks about gays all the time I assume that he is a frustrated closeted homosexual and in need of my help. I am also submitting his name to Rentboy.com in the hopes that he will meet a man that can truly satisfy him! Pat’s misunderstood and needs our love and cast-off sex toys! Please take time to let him realize his true sexuality and let him live his inner freak! I will excuse myself now to put on the punk rock music, put on my makeup and dance with my dick tucked between my legs! It puts the lotion in the fucking basket!
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- Matt McCormick
- Ph.D. in philosophy from the University of Rochester. Teaching at CSUS since 1996. My main area of research and publication now is atheism and philosophy of religion. I am also interested in philosophy of mind, epistemology, and rational decision theory/critical thinking.
I hate to gloat oh faithful flock of minions, but I post, yet again, just a small article among MILLIONS that prove that the the bible is an insignificant speck on an insignificant speck in just one galaxy among MILLIONS of other galaxies that contain billions of other planets! We are but a blue speck in our own little corner of space and have no effect on the greater scheme. If I could put a christian in a spacecraft and place him/her 3.7 Billion miles away from the Earth I think ideas and beliefs would change in that little ship!
When I joined the Mormon church I thought it meant More Men!-The Village Priest. That wuz funny…not! Sorry, bloggin’ by the light of the flourescent candle here. Helpin’ with the demise of the wonder of ‘God’s glory, the human eye, which could’nt have possibly come of several million years of evolution! You say GOD?! I say, “If GOD wuz SOOoo great then why didn’t I get Predator vision? HMMMM? I want infra red, thermal and spectral analyzing capabilities! I want to be able to hunt Gary Busey in a freezing meat locker and do battle with Danny Glover! This is too much to ask I guess, because I got stuck with perfectly mundane binocular vision. I don’t even have eyeballs that rotate in different directions like a lizard! No laser vision, heat vision, X-Ray vision, (I’d use it to sparingly invade personal privacy but I’m a man, what do you expect?), etc.
No, I haven’t had to fly off and weld the hull of a sinking ship with my heat vision. I’m stuck listening to the prattlings of reformed but still useless unemployed drug addicts showing me cell phone pics of rocks that are in the shape of Jesus, (look! you can see where he shat himself!!). It’s a miracle! Fucker won’t give you a Goddamned job but he’s free flowing with the miracle snow globes and Buddy Christ dashboard statues! Go figure. I guess that if I were a toothless idiot with an I.Q of 60 then I too, would be impressed with cheap parlor tricks. Lord? I pray…please saw this lady in the box in half and parade her corpse around the room! If you do this I will forever be your humble servant! NEXT!!
Goal for today: Punch the Pope in his fucking eye for being a little quitter bitch! What was his real name? John Ratzenberger? So does that mean he hangs out with Cardinal Normie and Father Woody? Well, he retired today and as of 8PM Central Asshole time he officially retreated to Birchegaden to Hitler’s Eagle’s Nest to restart the Third Reich! Being an evil pedophile, I’m sure he is more than man for the job! Be sure to stock up heavily on those Hugo Boss SS uniforms, the athletic fitting ones of course, and Reisen, lots of Storck Chocolate Reisen! One cannot say that the ex-pope is a man without reisen!
For those of you who care, Princess Kate is soon to make that slobbering slope-browed, weak-chinned peice of effeminate ragweed Prince Charles a grandfather! Prince Harry on the other hand is unfortunately going to continue to just fuck himself! Also in important news, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West ARE actually Satan, those of you lemmings that follow the show have already inadvertantly sold your souls. Sorry! Too late! We have a no return policy and all sales are fucking final so PISS OFF!!
So this post has a rather weak content, no real purpose! Good! I at least feel better! And thats what really counts! Remember folks, it’s not about you..it’s about me! Always me!! So before I digress into constructing Mohammed bobble-heads or statues of Bhudda made out of my own shit, let me end this post with one last thing. Releasing yourself from the yoke of religion is like eating an entire pan of Ex Lax brownies; you may shit your brains out at first, but when it’s all over you feel so much cleaner inside!