Reporting LIVE from deep inside the Mormon territory of Boise, Idaho, I am your host G. Olson, with the latest on atheist happenings! I have contacted brave atheist members of this community to join me in bringing logic and reason to one of Joe Smith’s myth-filled strongholds in an effort to wake up the golden tableted minions! These people come from all walks of life and stroll directly into the gleaming bastions of deception EVERY Sunday in an effort to reach the Celestial Kingdom of Jeezus! Our job, of course, is to inform them that at the end of their deluded lives spent wandering in the desert, they will simply feed the worms until they too grow fat and die!
Yes my friends, they too will eventually see that it IS OK to masturbate on the Sabbath insted of going to church. I can personally tell you that they will accomplish more by flogging their dicks then clasping their hands in prayer AND get silky soft palms in the process! So please, be ambidexterous, because who the Hell wants unequally soft hands?